Take Me Back To My World

I didn’t mean to shut the door;
I didn’t mean to lock you out;
I didn’t mean to cry;
I didn’t even say goodbye.
I ran away, again and again;
I ran so far, I no longer know where I am;
I ran unlooking, I no longer know where I stand;
I ran too far, I no longer know who I am.

Every face is a blur, every good memory faded;
Every wrong versus right stays twisted and hated.

Bleed me and will I live…
Hate me and will I love…
Bless me and will I die…
Tell me and will I lie…

I am forever
I am fornever

I am a shade of once I been
I am an echo of faded past

I am human and I will die human.

I am.

Forgive Me.

Powdered lips, cold wet fresh fallen snow.

Sugared hips, dripping taste of honey.

Pierced tips, hard metallic flavour.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

 

I have walked the line,

I have crossed the edge,

I have answered temptation

and given it my own.

 

The sad heart of man has feasted upon my body poorly,

Unworshipped, Uncherished, Unforgiveable –

But I have dangled the apple before their lips and tongues

brought them the scent of the sweetest honey –

 

How could one expect them not to take a nibble – or a bite.

Reproach is my own fault, my own blame, my own regret.

 

I have been the tempted, I have been the temptress;

I have been the serpint, I have been the human;

I have been the wile, I have been the weak;

I have been woman, come from man and made in god’s image.

 

I have been like god.

I have thrown caution to the wind, and I have drown in it;

I have created games, and watched them thrive and burn;

I have been only what I have been created to be – curious,

inciteful, animalistic, hopeful and altogether human.

 

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

abandon blood

the sun river ends at my
eyes, i slip on shades, duck
my head – a hopeless attempt
to hide from persecution
of the world & life;
titanium hide, if only; the
closeted feelings i hold for
the world tear at my throat,
clawing & raging to get out
and spit at the light of day;
silence, i ignore the words
beating at my lips, caressing
my tongue, begging for sweet
retribution lashes, to put those
in their place;
but who am i to say, ignore them,
step away, seek compatible companions,
is it okay to abandon blood?

barenaked

forever is a naked day

i am mute

do you ever feel locked inside of your mind, unable to voice your thoughts

the lack of speech

no one listens

no one hears

no one understands

perhaps there lies a peacefulness in being mute

you can lie to yourself, the if you could speak they’d understand

Life

Can I love the love that does not love?
Can I dream the dream that will not be dreamed?
Can I breathe the breath that threatens to choke me?
Can I see the light that shines to blind me?

My mind tumbles with words, pictures, and thoughts.
I find myself lost in my stumbling, drenched in colour,
swarmed by words, and plagued by undying thoughts.

the sun

How is the sun today? You ask.
Where have your eyes been? I wonder.
For the sun is bright and shining,
Lighting up the land.

My eyes hurt because of it
And I hide in my curtained room.
There’s no sun here. I reply.
You look around.

You realize that the room is dark.
You seem puzzled.
There was sun outside. You tell me.
As if I did not know.

I know. Simple answer.
Then why not let it in? You ask.
It is too cheery for me. You laugh.
I turn away in search of a deeper shadow.

Come now, it can’t be that bad.
What would you know?
You sober up and become solemn.
You say no more. Your hand is on my shoulder.

I refuse to look at you.
You wouldn’t understand.
You couldn’t understand.
I wish you’d leave the room.

You do. Your hand slips from my shoulder.
And it is quiet.
I sit on the floor.
And wonder why everyone leaves me.

What does it feel like- to know life is not a dream?

This is no fool’s joke
This is life

The blood, the breath, the screams

We walk amongst each other

Judging, hating, fearing

We are the worst that we can be
We proclaim the best
We mock when we are not alone
We tremble when there is no one with us
We fear brothers, sisters, grandfathers, and nannies

What for it, should we not also fear ourselves
We are but cattle to our souls

They rule us, They kill us

Trust, Betrayal, Neither can exist without the other
The worst in us makes us who we are
We ignore, we hurt others, and we walk away

As if it were all a dream
 
What does it feel like
To know life is not a dream?